I posted something on Facebook in January about looking in the mirror in my mused state and thinking that I looked pretty and how that was a huge step for me with my insecurity issues. The feedback I got on that post was interesting. There were people who were shocked that I struggled with insecurity. It's been something that I have struggled with for a lot of years. I honestly think I used to be a confident kiddo, but somewhere along the way I lost my confidence.
It doesn't help that I have struggled with my weight for years. Being fat didn't help me with my confidence at all. I didn't like the way I looked or the way I felt or the choices I was making, so that made it really hard to like me. I know and have always known that I'm a good person with a strong personality, but that wasn't enough to keep my head held high. As more time passed, I got bigger and felt worse about myself. Add into that some really unhealthy relationships that tore at my self-esteem and you have me...a person who didn't think much of herself or her worth.
Now, I finally worked out the relationship stuff and have an amazing marriage and friendship with my awesome husband who is the perfect man for me. I won't go on about him here because he does read these and doesn't really like it when I gush. I'll leave it with this: Vince helped rebuild some of my confidence and always did everything he could to help me see what he sees when he looks at me.
Since I've started my journey, I've noticed that I have a lot more confidence. I walk with my head held high. I smile more and enjoy everything more than I used to. I'm proud of myself and I think it shows in the way I carry myself. The good personality that I have always known I had is able to shine through more now because I'm don't feel as self-conscious. It's not just about how I look or my weight. It's about how I feel and I feel like I'm finally becoming the best me that I can be. I'm not bogged down with negativity or self-doubt. My friend Erin Withers, who is finding her second appearance in my blog, said it best when she said that I'm finally comfortable in my own skin. Finally I'm happy to be me. I'm not perfect by any stretch, but I'm stronger and more self-assured than I was before.
So with this new found confidence, I'll continue on my journey with my head held high and a smile on my face, remembering that being me is a pretty cool thing to be. :)
You know, the smaller clothes and number on the scale is great, but the increased confidence and feelings of self-worth are priceless!! That's definitely something I didn't expect in this journey, but it has been a definite benefit!!
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