I was reading an article on Yahoo called "What Losing 180 Pounds Really Does to Your Body - & Your Mind." It made me think a lot and made me decide that I needed to write this blog post.
Let me start by saying that I'm never going to know what it feels like to lose 180 pounds. There is no plan in my life that has me losing that much weight. That would take me to a completely unhealthy place that I wouldn't ever want to visit. I'm also not going to know the feeling of having weight loss surgery. I'm not saying anything against surgery, because I know many people have had success with it. It's just that isn't where my journey led me.
However, I do know what it is like to lose a truly significant amount of weight. And this article really touched on some issues that I've spent a decent amount of time thinking about.
This article hit on one of my pet peeves when it comes to a lot of advertising dealing with weight loss programs or products and television shows dealing with weight loss. The presumption is that all fat people hate themselves. That there is no possible way that you can have a happy life if you are fat. You have to despise yourself and be miserable and depressed. That presumption makes me furious! Vince can vouch for the fact that I become very snarky and irritated when I see those commercials.
But, that presumption wouldn't be so prevalent if it weren't at least a little bit true for more than one person. And when I'm being completely honest, I know that there have been times I've hated myself for having no self control and not being able to get my weight under control. There were times when I went up sizes that I hated how I kept getting fatter and how I wasn't willing or able to do anything about it. My self esteem was at an all time low for a really long time.
But there was a lot about my life that I loved. During the time when I was so heavy, I fell in love with and married Vince, the perfect man for me. I have friends and family who make my life brighter just by being there. I have a job and co-workers that I enjoy. I've done a lot of fun things and had some great experiences. I've had a wonderful life in general.
My weight loss journey has made my life better and easier in so many ways. It has made me feel happier about myself because I can see the amazing things that I'm accomplishing. I feel stronger than I ever have before. I am proud of myself and what I've been able to do. I have more energy and drive. There's an extra bounce in my step and my head is held higher than it was before.
But the most important things in my life haven't changed. My husband is still the amazing man that I fell in love with and our life together is wonderful. My friends and family are still so incredibly important to me and make my life so much better than it would be without them. My job and co-workers, while frequently frustrating, are still enjoyable. Vince and I have a lot of wonderful experiences and have a lot of fun. My life is still wonderful.
I knew this journey wouldn't change the essential nature of me or my life. I wasn't looking to be "fixed" by losing weight. I wanted to do what I could to make my life better and make things easier. I hoped I would feel better about myself based on my journey and what I could do. I wanted to feel proud of myself for doing something great. So I've gotten from my journey what I was looking for and even more than I had imagined. So maybe the expectations I had are what makes my journey different from the author of this article.
I do agree with the message at the end of this article. We, as a society, need to learn to love ourselves because we deserve it, not because of what we look like or because we are perfect, but because we are ourselves. I don't know how to make that happen and I don't have the magic formula. There's no magic size you need to be to be happy. There's no divine number on the scale that equals happiness. Happiness and love come in all sizes, shapes, and packages.
As I continue on my journey, I will remember to be kind to myself and be kind to others because everyone is on a journey and everyone has struggles and triumphs, successes and failures. And everyone is deserving of happiness, no matter what their personal journey is or where they are along that journey.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Acting on my Decision: Never Say Never and Can't Isn't Always Can't
When I was in high school, I was very involved in sports. I played volleyball, basketball, and ran track. I loved volleyball (still do), understood basketball better than I could play it, and actually had some success at track. However, when I left high school, I planned on leaving all my competitive sports behind me, especially track because I never really enjoyed running. It was something I did, but nothing that I loved.
These two ecards best illustrated my feelings about running after I left high school:
It wasn't something I ever planned on doing again, unless it was absolutely necessary for survival and even then, it's questionable if I would be able to save myself from much of anything.
Then as I started my journey, I started realizing that more and more of my friends were runners. I was adamantly a walker. I wasn't going to be a runner. Walking was plenty for me. I was good at walking and could walk at a good pace for a long distance. It was okay.
Then I started talking with people about races. Both of my Erin friends were runners now and talked passionately and excitedly about running. It got me started thinking and sadly the thinking wasn't very positive. As I signed up for my first 5K, I was excited and nervous, but also a little frustrated and discouraged because most of the people I knew were going to be running the race or at least part of the race. In this very blog, I vented my frustration in a post. Here is the part of that post that covers this point the most:
"For example, I can't run. I have arthritis in my right knee (frankly, probably both knees) and so high impact activities, like running, make me hurt too much for me to do them. It's not that I even really want to run. I used to run some when I was younger and I never really enjoyed it. It's mostly that I can't and so that frustrates me." - Marci Adversalo, June 30, 2012
I knew that there was no possible way that I could run. It was never going to happen.
Then the impossible became possible. On October 4th, I was out for my evening walk and decided to try some jogging too. And it worked! I could run! Not fast and not far, but it was running.
I had a couple of setbacks along the way. My hip wasn't sure how it felt about running and then my calf decided that I hadn't given it enough attention and made me focus on it. However, I've started doing races again, and with that, I've started running again too. I will say that I still don't love it when I'm doing it, but I sure do love the way that I feel when I'm done!
Today I finally said it out loud: I am a runner. Not a jogger, but a runner. I'm not going to downplay it or add disclaimers or make it seem like more or less than it is. I am a runner.
I have conquered an obstacle that I thought was insurmountable. I have discovered that I can do something I was sure that I would never be able to do. I need to remember this when I get down about other things. I can do things I never dreamed were possible. I just need to be willing to try and be patient if the results don't come immediately or if there are setbacks on the way.
So as I continue on my journey, I'll try to remember that I can do more than I think I can and when I do something I thought was impossible, it feels amazing!!
These two ecards best illustrated my feelings about running after I left high school:
It wasn't something I ever planned on doing again, unless it was absolutely necessary for survival and even then, it's questionable if I would be able to save myself from much of anything.
Then as I started my journey, I started realizing that more and more of my friends were runners. I was adamantly a walker. I wasn't going to be a runner. Walking was plenty for me. I was good at walking and could walk at a good pace for a long distance. It was okay.
Then I started talking with people about races. Both of my Erin friends were runners now and talked passionately and excitedly about running. It got me started thinking and sadly the thinking wasn't very positive. As I signed up for my first 5K, I was excited and nervous, but also a little frustrated and discouraged because most of the people I knew were going to be running the race or at least part of the race. In this very blog, I vented my frustration in a post. Here is the part of that post that covers this point the most:
"For example, I can't run. I have arthritis in my right knee (frankly, probably both knees) and so high impact activities, like running, make me hurt too much for me to do them. It's not that I even really want to run. I used to run some when I was younger and I never really enjoyed it. It's mostly that I can't and so that frustrates me." - Marci Adversalo, June 30, 2012
I knew that there was no possible way that I could run. It was never going to happen.
Then the impossible became possible. On October 4th, I was out for my evening walk and decided to try some jogging too. And it worked! I could run! Not fast and not far, but it was running.
I had a couple of setbacks along the way. My hip wasn't sure how it felt about running and then my calf decided that I hadn't given it enough attention and made me focus on it. However, I've started doing races again, and with that, I've started running again too. I will say that I still don't love it when I'm doing it, but I sure do love the way that I feel when I'm done!
Today I finally said it out loud: I am a runner. Not a jogger, but a runner. I'm not going to downplay it or add disclaimers or make it seem like more or less than it is. I am a runner.
I have conquered an obstacle that I thought was insurmountable. I have discovered that I can do something I was sure that I would never be able to do. I need to remember this when I get down about other things. I can do things I never dreamed were possible. I just need to be willing to try and be patient if the results don't come immediately or if there are setbacks on the way.
So as I continue on my journey, I'll try to remember that I can do more than I think I can and when I do something I thought was impossible, it feels amazing!!
Friday, March 15, 2013
30 Day Challenge - Day 8: A Moment I Felt Most Satisfied with my Life
Okay, so I have kind of blown doing this challenge in 30 days. Things got in the way, but I'm still dedicated to doing it.
So a moment when I felt most satisfied with my life. This seems like it should be easy to write. I think the challenge for me is picking a moment that I was most satisfied...not happiest...not most excited...not proudest...but most satisfied. Happiest is easy to identify: the moment that I was officially married to the perfect man for me. Proudest is easy too: the moment that I crossed the finish line in my first 5K, a feat that I didn't think I would ever accomplish. Most excited would be pretty easy too, though narrowing it down to one is challenging: I would say it was when I went to buy new jeans and discovered that I was a 16W, down from a 22W, but it was pretty close when I made it to regular sizes this week. Now that I've shared those, I need to focus on the topic of this post: a moment when I felt most satisfied with my life.
The moment when I left most satisfied with my life is very representative of my life with Vince. It would be our wedding night. Don't worry! I won't share too much information. I'll stay PG.
I'll give a little background, not necessarily because the story needs it, but because I love to share it. :)
We got married on July 16, 2005. It was a ridiculously hot day.
The day started early with all the preparations typical with a wedding day. I know that both Vince and I were incredibly nervous and excited. We had been together as a couple for so long and now we were going to join our lives together in front of friends and family. The ceremony was gorgeous and my dress was stupendous.
After the ceremony, we took a million pictures and a short limo ride to the reception. The reception was a wonderful party with good food, great champagne, and so many important people in our lives. I have never had so much fun at a party or smiled so much!
The time flew by and before we knew it, the party was over and we were getting ready to head up to our room. We said good night to everyone and got in the elevator.
We went in the room and all I could think about was getting out of my dress and into the shower. Did I mention it was ridiculously hot? After I got out of the shower, I was exhausted and thirsty. Vince went down the hall and got me a soda, even though I know he was more tired than I was. Even at his most tired, he put me first and took care of me.
Before we went to sleep that night, we snuggled together and kissed sweetly. That was the moment I was most satisfied with my life. After years of being together and a little over a year of living together, we were married and were going to spend the rest of our lives together. I had everything I ever wanted and needed: a man who loves me more than anyone ever had before, who put my needs above his, who let me love him with all the love I had to give, who let me be myself, no matter how goofy that might be, who would love me as a grew and changed. I couldn't have been more content and pleased...completely satisfied with my life.
What a great opportunity to remember that moment. This blogging challenge has some great benefits!
So a moment when I felt most satisfied with my life. This seems like it should be easy to write. I think the challenge for me is picking a moment that I was most satisfied...not happiest...not most excited...not proudest...but most satisfied. Happiest is easy to identify: the moment that I was officially married to the perfect man for me. Proudest is easy too: the moment that I crossed the finish line in my first 5K, a feat that I didn't think I would ever accomplish. Most excited would be pretty easy too, though narrowing it down to one is challenging: I would say it was when I went to buy new jeans and discovered that I was a 16W, down from a 22W, but it was pretty close when I made it to regular sizes this week. Now that I've shared those, I need to focus on the topic of this post: a moment when I felt most satisfied with my life.
The moment when I left most satisfied with my life is very representative of my life with Vince. It would be our wedding night. Don't worry! I won't share too much information. I'll stay PG.
I'll give a little background, not necessarily because the story needs it, but because I love to share it. :)
We got married on July 16, 2005. It was a ridiculously hot day.
The day started early with all the preparations typical with a wedding day. I know that both Vince and I were incredibly nervous and excited. We had been together as a couple for so long and now we were going to join our lives together in front of friends and family. The ceremony was gorgeous and my dress was stupendous.
After the ceremony, we took a million pictures and a short limo ride to the reception. The reception was a wonderful party with good food, great champagne, and so many important people in our lives. I have never had so much fun at a party or smiled so much!
The time flew by and before we knew it, the party was over and we were getting ready to head up to our room. We said good night to everyone and got in the elevator.
We went in the room and all I could think about was getting out of my dress and into the shower. Did I mention it was ridiculously hot? After I got out of the shower, I was exhausted and thirsty. Vince went down the hall and got me a soda, even though I know he was more tired than I was. Even at his most tired, he put me first and took care of me.
Before we went to sleep that night, we snuggled together and kissed sweetly. That was the moment I was most satisfied with my life. After years of being together and a little over a year of living together, we were married and were going to spend the rest of our lives together. I had everything I ever wanted and needed: a man who loves me more than anyone ever had before, who put my needs above his, who let me love him with all the love I had to give, who let me be myself, no matter how goofy that might be, who would love me as a grew and changed. I couldn't have been more content and pleased...completely satisfied with my life.
What a great opportunity to remember that moment. This blogging challenge has some great benefits!
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
30 Day Challenge - Day 7: My Favorite Childhood Toys
This is a topic aimed directly at me! I am a toy person. In fact, sitting right here on the couch with me at this moment are my stuffed Willie the Wildcat that I got for Christmas, my stuffed Freddie the Frurtle (he's a froggie/turtlie looking creature so I call him a Frurtle), and my Wii controller. Toys, toys, everywhere!
However, today's blog isn't supposed to be about my favorite toys now. It's supposed to be about my childhood. So that's where I will start. I am going to add a side note here: Books were always a part of my life and provided hours of entertainment and enjoyment, however, I don't really consider them toys so they won't be included in my list. I just wanted to note that books, like toys, have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. (Thanks Mom and Dad!)
For as long as I can remember, I have been a stuffed animal person. I don't know that there was always a favorite, but I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't have at least one stuffed animal as one of my favorites. In my basement now, I have a stuffed Snoopy from when I was little. He is definitely worse for wear, but he's still in one piece. I was never loyal to a specific type of stuffed animal. I've had raccoons, dogs, bears, mice, squirrels, cats, moose, and the list goes on and on. I have a lot of stuffed animals from childhood and adulthood, so they are definitely favorites.
Dolls were also a favorite. Again, I wasn't very particular. I had dolls that ate, cried, pottied, grew hair, and didn't do anything specific. The potty doll was not a huge hit. Nor was the doll who grew hair once I realized that there wasn't a never ending supply and when you cut it off, it really was gone and wasn't going to grow back. I don't remember being a child who always took a doll with me when we went places, but I'm not sure that was so much about my choice as it was about my parents' choice. I was pretty rough on my dolls. As I already mentioned, I was a hair cutter. I also discovered that cleaning their faces with alcohol was not a good idea as it removed the color from their eyes and made them look truly creepy, which was not improved by my attempt to fix it by painting them myself. I moved from baby dolls to Barbie dolls. I played with Barbies for a whole lot of years. I do remember taking Barbies on vacation, especially if we were going to see cousins who might also have Barbies to play with. I had a lot of Barbies and really enjoyed them for years. I think my mom might still have my Barbies in her basement, initially there in case I had a daughter who might have liked them, now I don't know why they are there. But maybe someone will enjoy them someday.
I played with Fisher Price toys a lot! I know my mom still has those because they are pulled out on holidays for my great niece to play with. We had a lot of sets: airport, house, hospital, castle, and Sesame Street. Those were always fun to play with and I mixed and matched and created stories for all of the adventures. We also had Weebles and a couple of sets of those: ranch and boat. I remember my brother and I doing everything possible to show that Weebles could fall down. :) Those toy sets got plenty of enjoyment and still do with the little ones.
I don't know if crayons and coloring books really count as toys, but I loved (still love) to color. I'm not skilled enough to do my own drawings, but I will attack a coloring book with a focus and precision that completely illustrate my OCD. It never really mattered to me what kind of coloring book I had, the crayons were the key! I had to have a lot of colors so that I could make choices and make things look right. If I was coloring people and their clothes, I made sure that I had complementary colors or a monochromatic color scheme, which wasn't always very pretty. Crayons and coloring books...I really should get mine out and do some coloring again. It is very relaxing.
The last one that really stands out is Play-Doh. I loved playing with Play-Doh...and to be honest, I think I still have a small tub of it in my desk because I love playing with it, especially when I'm stressed. I had some Play-Doh toys, including the hair salon. I spend hours making hair styles and cutting them off. I had molds for different types of food that I could make with my Play-Doh, however, I always had weird colored food because I didn't like mixing up the colors. I was a purist. As I got a little older, I would try and make things out of the Play-Doh. My artistic skills were never as developed as I wanted them to be, but that never stopped me from trying. I seem to remember that my favorite thing to make was a bird in a nest with eggs. It probably didn't look much like a bird, but I thought I was brilliant because I could make it. :)
I could probably go on and on, because I do love my toys! However, I think the ones I've listed probably fall highest into my favorite toys. I had a few electronic games that I liked, and as I mentioned, I have a Wii now, that I love! As I child though, most of my toys were ones where I had to use my imagination to make them really fun and I had more than enough imagination to keep myself entertained for hours. This was a fun look back at childhood. :) And perhaps encouragement to make sure and make time to play as an adult.
However, today's blog isn't supposed to be about my favorite toys now. It's supposed to be about my childhood. So that's where I will start. I am going to add a side note here: Books were always a part of my life and provided hours of entertainment and enjoyment, however, I don't really consider them toys so they won't be included in my list. I just wanted to note that books, like toys, have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. (Thanks Mom and Dad!)
For as long as I can remember, I have been a stuffed animal person. I don't know that there was always a favorite, but I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't have at least one stuffed animal as one of my favorites. In my basement now, I have a stuffed Snoopy from when I was little. He is definitely worse for wear, but he's still in one piece. I was never loyal to a specific type of stuffed animal. I've had raccoons, dogs, bears, mice, squirrels, cats, moose, and the list goes on and on. I have a lot of stuffed animals from childhood and adulthood, so they are definitely favorites.
Dolls were also a favorite. Again, I wasn't very particular. I had dolls that ate, cried, pottied, grew hair, and didn't do anything specific. The potty doll was not a huge hit. Nor was the doll who grew hair once I realized that there wasn't a never ending supply and when you cut it off, it really was gone and wasn't going to grow back. I don't remember being a child who always took a doll with me when we went places, but I'm not sure that was so much about my choice as it was about my parents' choice. I was pretty rough on my dolls. As I already mentioned, I was a hair cutter. I also discovered that cleaning their faces with alcohol was not a good idea as it removed the color from their eyes and made them look truly creepy, which was not improved by my attempt to fix it by painting them myself. I moved from baby dolls to Barbie dolls. I played with Barbies for a whole lot of years. I do remember taking Barbies on vacation, especially if we were going to see cousins who might also have Barbies to play with. I had a lot of Barbies and really enjoyed them for years. I think my mom might still have my Barbies in her basement, initially there in case I had a daughter who might have liked them, now I don't know why they are there. But maybe someone will enjoy them someday.
I played with Fisher Price toys a lot! I know my mom still has those because they are pulled out on holidays for my great niece to play with. We had a lot of sets: airport, house, hospital, castle, and Sesame Street. Those were always fun to play with and I mixed and matched and created stories for all of the adventures. We also had Weebles and a couple of sets of those: ranch and boat. I remember my brother and I doing everything possible to show that Weebles could fall down. :) Those toy sets got plenty of enjoyment and still do with the little ones.
I don't know if crayons and coloring books really count as toys, but I loved (still love) to color. I'm not skilled enough to do my own drawings, but I will attack a coloring book with a focus and precision that completely illustrate my OCD. It never really mattered to me what kind of coloring book I had, the crayons were the key! I had to have a lot of colors so that I could make choices and make things look right. If I was coloring people and their clothes, I made sure that I had complementary colors or a monochromatic color scheme, which wasn't always very pretty. Crayons and coloring books...I really should get mine out and do some coloring again. It is very relaxing.
The last one that really stands out is Play-Doh. I loved playing with Play-Doh...and to be honest, I think I still have a small tub of it in my desk because I love playing with it, especially when I'm stressed. I had some Play-Doh toys, including the hair salon. I spend hours making hair styles and cutting them off. I had molds for different types of food that I could make with my Play-Doh, however, I always had weird colored food because I didn't like mixing up the colors. I was a purist. As I got a little older, I would try and make things out of the Play-Doh. My artistic skills were never as developed as I wanted them to be, but that never stopped me from trying. I seem to remember that my favorite thing to make was a bird in a nest with eggs. It probably didn't look much like a bird, but I thought I was brilliant because I could make it. :)
I could probably go on and on, because I do love my toys! However, I think the ones I've listed probably fall highest into my favorite toys. I had a few electronic games that I liked, and as I mentioned, I have a Wii now, that I love! As I child though, most of my toys were ones where I had to use my imagination to make them really fun and I had more than enough imagination to keep myself entertained for hours. This was a fun look back at childhood. :) And perhaps encouragement to make sure and make time to play as an adult.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
30 Day Challenge - Day 6: My Astrological Sign
Astrology has never really been my thing. I know my sign and occasionally will read my horoscope, but it's not something I'm really that concerns me. I know a little about Capricorns and have always sort of thought that my sign fit me. I know that "goats" are usually stubborn and that definitely describes me. My husband wrote his blog before me so I'm going to use the same site he did for the description of my sign. I'm also going to follow his lead and respond to each description of my sign instead of trying to respond to the whole description.
Capricorn is a feet-on-the-ground, eye-on-the-prize sign. They have a realistic, grounded approach to life that can be seen no matter how dreamy the rest of the birth chart suggests. These people know how to do things, and to get things done.
I would say that I am a realistic person, who is generally very grounded. I just don't know that I would say that I am eye-on-the-prize. It really depends on what "the prize" is. I'm not ambitious, but when I decide that I'm going to do something, very little will derail me.
Some Capricorns naturally turn their backs on things they deem too frivolous. They are very much concerned with things that are worthwhile—and that includes their own lives. Capricorns want to do and be something worthwhile. They need to feel useful and effective in the real world in order to be satisfied with their lives. But the Capricorn spin on the earth signs is that Capricorn possesses a stronger need for recognition in a worldly sense. They have a strong sense of society and its framework, and they feel most secure when they feel they are doing their part within that framework.
There are parts of this that couldn't be less true. I'm all about the frivolous. I love silly little things that make life fun. I fret over the smallest of details when it comes to big projects. However, I like feeling useful. Like most people, I am at my worst when I feel useless. I want to be able to do things, even if I don't choose to do everything that I can. I'm also not a rebel. I do my part to fit within the framework of society and am happy with that. When things are too unstructured, I become uncomfortable.
Capricorns like to pare things down, and take pleasure in the simple things in life. However, many are attracted to status symbols and these ones will wear the best clothes (tasteful ones!) and drive quietly impressive cars.
I do like the simple things in life. I'm honestly not that complicated. However, status symbols do nothing for me. My clothes, car, house, etc. are not the best, but they are perfect for me and generally pretty simple.
Comparing Capricorns to their symbol, the goat, brings up some interesting analogies. Capricorns can see into the future, and plan for it. They don't mind taking things slowly, but they absolutely aim to get to the top of the mountain in life! They make their way steadily and sure-footedly; and their strength and singleness of purpose are admirable.
This part makes it sound like I'm psychic, which I think would be really cool! :) However, this is pretty accurate. I'm a planner and will almost always have a plan for what needs to happen and how to get there. I don't know that I aim to get to the top of the mountain, but I suppose that depends on what the top of the mountain is.
Capricorns can sometimes be rather lonely people, although they rarely let it show. They are often a little reserved—even standoffish. This is generally because they value all things practical, and they'll seldom wear their emotions on their sleeves, unless they have a particularly flamboyant Moon sign.
I must have a "particularly flamboyant Moon sign," because I do show my emotions more than I would like to. However, I am very reserved and that can be seen as being standoffish, though I would never describe myself that way. I don't think it has to do with being practical. I don't get close to a lot of people, but if we do get close, you will most assuredly know that I'm an emotional person.
This is a sign that is surely the most resourceful of the zodiac. To some, Capricorns come across as unimaginative, but they can be enormously creative when it comes to the material world. They are generally very capable people with a strong sense of tradition and responsibility.
Very capable...that isn't a very shining description, is it? Hehehe! I am capable and can be creative if I need to be to make something happen. Unimaginative is not a word I would use to describe myself. I'm not very creative, but I have an active and vivid imagination. Sometimes too vivid. I do have a strong sense of tradition and responsibility, but I'm not tied to tradition if it stops making sense to me.
Many Capricorns have mastered the art of making people laugh. Their sense of humor can be of the deadpan variety—they're generally excellent at keeping a straight face. They can be bitingly sarcastic, too.
I'm not excellent at keeping a straight face. I smile all the time and love to laugh at things, especially things that other people don't find funny. My husband says that I make him laugh more than anyone else, but he has to live with my strangeness all the time so his odds are higher for being amused by me. I tend to be sarcastic, sometimes bitingly so, but I don't know that it makes me funny. I wouldn't say that I can make people laugh, but I can almost always make myself laugh! :)
Capricorns are not known for taking too many risks in life. They value the beaten track and things "tried and true". This is not to say they are stick-in-the-muds — they simply value the hard work laid down by those who've been around before them.
Not taking risks...yeah, that describes me. I'd probably even say that I'm a stick-in-the-mud. I'm not a spontaneous person and don't usually go outside of the box. I'm more of a traditionalist, for better or for worse.
Turn to your Capricorn friends for help when you need to really get things done. They'll have practical advice, and they'll help you organize and manage your life a little better. Capricorns are generally good with their "word", dependable, and rather loyal people.
This is the section that best describes me. I am loyal to a fault and do my best to be dependable. It matters to me to do what I say I'm going to do. I'm hardest on myself when I say I'm going to do something and fail to do it. I don't know that I have practical advice, but I'm always here to help if a friend needs me and will do my best to help figure out a solution.
Basically, I would say that the Capricorn description isn't too far off in describing me. The funniest part for me is that as I looked at all of the signs, there was a part of each sign that described me. I don't know if that is normal or not. Maybe I'm just so unique that I can't be contained by one sign. Maybe I'm all signs...hmmm...I'm every sign, it's all in me (sung to the tune of I'm Every Woman). Hehehehe! I crack myself up!!
See you tomorrow!
Capricorn is a feet-on-the-ground, eye-on-the-prize sign. They have a realistic, grounded approach to life that can be seen no matter how dreamy the rest of the birth chart suggests. These people know how to do things, and to get things done.
I would say that I am a realistic person, who is generally very grounded. I just don't know that I would say that I am eye-on-the-prize. It really depends on what "the prize" is. I'm not ambitious, but when I decide that I'm going to do something, very little will derail me.
Some Capricorns naturally turn their backs on things they deem too frivolous. They are very much concerned with things that are worthwhile—and that includes their own lives. Capricorns want to do and be something worthwhile. They need to feel useful and effective in the real world in order to be satisfied with their lives. But the Capricorn spin on the earth signs is that Capricorn possesses a stronger need for recognition in a worldly sense. They have a strong sense of society and its framework, and they feel most secure when they feel they are doing their part within that framework.
There are parts of this that couldn't be less true. I'm all about the frivolous. I love silly little things that make life fun. I fret over the smallest of details when it comes to big projects. However, I like feeling useful. Like most people, I am at my worst when I feel useless. I want to be able to do things, even if I don't choose to do everything that I can. I'm also not a rebel. I do my part to fit within the framework of society and am happy with that. When things are too unstructured, I become uncomfortable.
Capricorns like to pare things down, and take pleasure in the simple things in life. However, many are attracted to status symbols and these ones will wear the best clothes (tasteful ones!) and drive quietly impressive cars.
I do like the simple things in life. I'm honestly not that complicated. However, status symbols do nothing for me. My clothes, car, house, etc. are not the best, but they are perfect for me and generally pretty simple.
Comparing Capricorns to their symbol, the goat, brings up some interesting analogies. Capricorns can see into the future, and plan for it. They don't mind taking things slowly, but they absolutely aim to get to the top of the mountain in life! They make their way steadily and sure-footedly; and their strength and singleness of purpose are admirable.
This part makes it sound like I'm psychic, which I think would be really cool! :) However, this is pretty accurate. I'm a planner and will almost always have a plan for what needs to happen and how to get there. I don't know that I aim to get to the top of the mountain, but I suppose that depends on what the top of the mountain is.
Capricorns can sometimes be rather lonely people, although they rarely let it show. They are often a little reserved—even standoffish. This is generally because they value all things practical, and they'll seldom wear their emotions on their sleeves, unless they have a particularly flamboyant Moon sign.
I must have a "particularly flamboyant Moon sign," because I do show my emotions more than I would like to. However, I am very reserved and that can be seen as being standoffish, though I would never describe myself that way. I don't think it has to do with being practical. I don't get close to a lot of people, but if we do get close, you will most assuredly know that I'm an emotional person.
This is a sign that is surely the most resourceful of the zodiac. To some, Capricorns come across as unimaginative, but they can be enormously creative when it comes to the material world. They are generally very capable people with a strong sense of tradition and responsibility.
Very capable...that isn't a very shining description, is it? Hehehe! I am capable and can be creative if I need to be to make something happen. Unimaginative is not a word I would use to describe myself. I'm not very creative, but I have an active and vivid imagination. Sometimes too vivid. I do have a strong sense of tradition and responsibility, but I'm not tied to tradition if it stops making sense to me.
Many Capricorns have mastered the art of making people laugh. Their sense of humor can be of the deadpan variety—they're generally excellent at keeping a straight face. They can be bitingly sarcastic, too.
I'm not excellent at keeping a straight face. I smile all the time and love to laugh at things, especially things that other people don't find funny. My husband says that I make him laugh more than anyone else, but he has to live with my strangeness all the time so his odds are higher for being amused by me. I tend to be sarcastic, sometimes bitingly so, but I don't know that it makes me funny. I wouldn't say that I can make people laugh, but I can almost always make myself laugh! :)
Capricorns are not known for taking too many risks in life. They value the beaten track and things "tried and true". This is not to say they are stick-in-the-muds — they simply value the hard work laid down by those who've been around before them.
Not taking risks...yeah, that describes me. I'd probably even say that I'm a stick-in-the-mud. I'm not a spontaneous person and don't usually go outside of the box. I'm more of a traditionalist, for better or for worse.
Turn to your Capricorn friends for help when you need to really get things done. They'll have practical advice, and they'll help you organize and manage your life a little better. Capricorns are generally good with their "word", dependable, and rather loyal people.
This is the section that best describes me. I am loyal to a fault and do my best to be dependable. It matters to me to do what I say I'm going to do. I'm hardest on myself when I say I'm going to do something and fail to do it. I don't know that I have practical advice, but I'm always here to help if a friend needs me and will do my best to help figure out a solution.
Basically, I would say that the Capricorn description isn't too far off in describing me. The funniest part for me is that as I looked at all of the signs, there was a part of each sign that described me. I don't know if that is normal or not. Maybe I'm just so unique that I can't be contained by one sign. Maybe I'm all signs...hmmm...I'm every sign, it's all in me (sung to the tune of I'm Every Woman). Hehehehe! I crack myself up!!
See you tomorrow!
Monday, February 25, 2013
30 Day Challenge - Day 5: My Favorite Comfort Foods
Now here's what I'm talking about! After two days of challenges, we are on a topic that I could talk about for hours! Talking about food is definitely not a problem.
So the post is easy, but the topic is always challenging. As always, I'll start off with a little background. If you are reading this, you are probably aware of my journey to being a healthier person. Food has always been a challenge for me. I am an emotional eater. I always have been. So comfort food has been a big part of my life for most of my life. Lately I've been doing my best not to give in to emotional eating, though it's the hardest of all of my bad habits to break. When I'm upset, my first instinct is to eat. I'm working on finding other coping mechanisms and if I do eat, I try to eat something healthier or make a healthier version of whatever comfort food I want. There are times when I will eat what it is that I'm craving, but I do try and eat less of it and enjoy it instead of just mindlessly eating and/or I will do extra workouts to work it off.
The reason I gave the background is that you will soon discover that my comfort foods are, in general, completely unhealthy and I wanted to explain how that works with all of my lifestyle changes.
Now that all of that is out of the way, here are my comfort foods, in no particular order.
1. Dog-N-Shake chili cheese dogs: I don't remember exactly what it was that got me started with the chili cheese dogs for comfort, but they definitely fall in this category. The butter toasted bun is the kicker for me. It just takes it to the next level.
2. My mom's chocolate sheet cake: This cake was my choice of cake for my birthday for years. It is so rich and delicious and makes me think of happy times. I have the recipe now, which is dangerous, but it is pretty involved so I do all right resisting the temptation to make it.
3. My lasagna: This is one of the only food that Vince and I both have on our comfort food lists. I think I go to this as a comfort food because it is the first thing I was able to make completely from scratch. It's a modification of my mom's lasagna recipe and it was my go to recipe for years. The biggest problem is that it is the opposite of healthy and I'm struggling on how to make it healthier without ruining it.
4. Homemade chocolate chip cookies when they are still warm: I have no specific memories or meaning tied to homemade chocolate chip cookies, but there is just comfort in a warm chocolate chip cookies. They are like a hug for the taste buds.
5. Kucha: This is the closest I can get for the correct spelling of this and none of the recipes that I have seen actually match what I'm thinking about. When I was younger, we would always have bread for breakfast. It was a sort of homemade bread. We took Rhodes rolls and kneaded them into a ball, cover and let it rise, kneaded it again and let it rise overnight. In the morning, you brushed the top with melted butter and sprinkled it with cinnamon and sugar before baking. It was a so delicious and is such a strong memory from when I was young.
6. Vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup mixed up until it is runny: This is one of those things that has really traveled with me from childhood to adulthood. We didn't do a lot of desserts when I was growing up, but it seemed like there was always vanilla ice cream and Hershey's chocolate syrup in the house. It was a favorite of everyone in the family, though I'm the only one who mixes it all up. It's also one of the few times I was allowed to play with my food until it was exactly how I wanted it. So as an adult, I will still mix it up just perfect until it is all melted into a chocolate-y ice cream soup. It makes me smile every time.
I think that's a pretty good list. I thought about putting something healthy on the list, but, honestly, as much as I wracked my brain, I couldn't come up with any healthy foods that are really comfort foods. I have some favorites - grapes, honeycrisp apples, lemon bars (yes, they are healthy), taco "cupcakes" - but they aren't really comfort foods. They would be on a list of my favorite foods, but not the comfort food list.
Hmmmm...maybe it's progress that writing this post didn't make me crave any of my comfort foods. If nothing else, it's interesting to think about. :)
So the post is easy, but the topic is always challenging. As always, I'll start off with a little background. If you are reading this, you are probably aware of my journey to being a healthier person. Food has always been a challenge for me. I am an emotional eater. I always have been. So comfort food has been a big part of my life for most of my life. Lately I've been doing my best not to give in to emotional eating, though it's the hardest of all of my bad habits to break. When I'm upset, my first instinct is to eat. I'm working on finding other coping mechanisms and if I do eat, I try to eat something healthier or make a healthier version of whatever comfort food I want. There are times when I will eat what it is that I'm craving, but I do try and eat less of it and enjoy it instead of just mindlessly eating and/or I will do extra workouts to work it off.
The reason I gave the background is that you will soon discover that my comfort foods are, in general, completely unhealthy and I wanted to explain how that works with all of my lifestyle changes.
Now that all of that is out of the way, here are my comfort foods, in no particular order.
1. Dog-N-Shake chili cheese dogs: I don't remember exactly what it was that got me started with the chili cheese dogs for comfort, but they definitely fall in this category. The butter toasted bun is the kicker for me. It just takes it to the next level.
2. My mom's chocolate sheet cake: This cake was my choice of cake for my birthday for years. It is so rich and delicious and makes me think of happy times. I have the recipe now, which is dangerous, but it is pretty involved so I do all right resisting the temptation to make it.
3. My lasagna: This is one of the only food that Vince and I both have on our comfort food lists. I think I go to this as a comfort food because it is the first thing I was able to make completely from scratch. It's a modification of my mom's lasagna recipe and it was my go to recipe for years. The biggest problem is that it is the opposite of healthy and I'm struggling on how to make it healthier without ruining it.
4. Homemade chocolate chip cookies when they are still warm: I have no specific memories or meaning tied to homemade chocolate chip cookies, but there is just comfort in a warm chocolate chip cookies. They are like a hug for the taste buds.
5. Kucha: This is the closest I can get for the correct spelling of this and none of the recipes that I have seen actually match what I'm thinking about. When I was younger, we would always have bread for breakfast. It was a sort of homemade bread. We took Rhodes rolls and kneaded them into a ball, cover and let it rise, kneaded it again and let it rise overnight. In the morning, you brushed the top with melted butter and sprinkled it with cinnamon and sugar before baking. It was a so delicious and is such a strong memory from when I was young.
6. Vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup mixed up until it is runny: This is one of those things that has really traveled with me from childhood to adulthood. We didn't do a lot of desserts when I was growing up, but it seemed like there was always vanilla ice cream and Hershey's chocolate syrup in the house. It was a favorite of everyone in the family, though I'm the only one who mixes it all up. It's also one of the few times I was allowed to play with my food until it was exactly how I wanted it. So as an adult, I will still mix it up just perfect until it is all melted into a chocolate-y ice cream soup. It makes me smile every time.
I think that's a pretty good list. I thought about putting something healthy on the list, but, honestly, as much as I wracked my brain, I couldn't come up with any healthy foods that are really comfort foods. I have some favorites - grapes, honeycrisp apples, lemon bars (yes, they are healthy), taco "cupcakes" - but they aren't really comfort foods. They would be on a list of my favorite foods, but not the comfort food list.
Hmmmm...maybe it's progress that writing this post didn't make me crave any of my comfort foods. If nothing else, it's interesting to think about. :)
Sunday, February 24, 2013
30 Day Challenge - Day 4: My Views on Religion
Why do I have to have two tough days in a row? Why can't I have a soft ball between days 3 and 4? I guess I should just quit my whining and get started.
So...religion...have I mentioned that religion is one of those topics that I rarely talk about with people that I don't know well? If you think about it, it probably won't surprise most of you as we probably haven't talked about religion. I think the number of people I discuss religion with can be counted on one hand. There is a reason for this. I have a real tendency to avoid discussing highly charged topics because there doesn't seem to be any point. I know what I think and you, most likely, know what you think. Nothing you say will change my opinion and it is unlikely that anything I say will change your opinion. Not to mention that my intention is not to change your opinion.
I was raised with church as a part of my life, though we were never really active in our church. We have almost always attended a Methodist church, which is interesting because my father was raised Mennonite, but we never really went to that church. My brother and I went to Sunday school until we were in junior high school and the family went to church most Sundays, though it was less when Mom was working every other Sunday. We always went to church for religious holidays and frequently went with my grandparents when we were younger. In junior high and part of high school, I was active with my church youth group and participated in youth choir. As I got further into high school, I stopped being as active because I didn't really have anything in common with the other members of the youth group and didn't really feel like I fit in.
I went to college at Southwestern College, which is a Methodist school. We had chapel services on during the week, which I didn't usually attend and forget about getting up early on a Sunday morning to go to church. My sophomore year, I started dating someone who was more interested in religion than I had been, so I started going to chapel more and occasionally attended church on Sundays. My junior year, there was a college age bible study group that was a lot of fun. A lot of my friends were involved and we always had snacks and good discussion. My senior year we continued with the bible study, but it wasn't quite as much fun.
After college, my mom used to bribe my brother and I to go to church with them. If we went to church, they would feed us at home or take us out to eat afterwards. I'm not sure that either of us was truly moved by the spirit as much as by hunger. It was a good time as a family and I never hated going.
When I moved to Connecticut, I did a half hearted search for a church, but didn't find anything that inspired me as much as either sleeping in or going to the beach on a Sunday morning. It was truly powerful to see the beauty God created on a nearly empty beach with very little to distract me. If I'm truly honest, I didn't look too hard and might have found a church if I had been dedicated.
When I moved back to Kansas, I was lucky enough to get involved with an alternative church service at the church I had attended as a child. The service was put together by a group of church members with the pastor, who was the same pastor who lead the bible study we did as juniors that was so much fun and such great fellowship. He was also the pastor who baptized me. We had such a great service with so many people getting involved. It was the most connected I had ever felt to church. We had a small but loyal congregation. The service went on for several years and I continued to love it! Through a series of unfortunate events, the church decided to eliminate the service in the most painful and uncomfortable way possible. The new pastor we had was extremely unfeeling and uncaring and consequently, I ended up leaving the church and haven't found another church since. I haven't been looking because I was hurt so badly by what happened with "my" church.
Now, none of this really tells my views on religion, but gives you some background into me and my experiences. So here go my views: I think religion can be a powerful thing in which many people can find support, comfort, strength, and love. However, it can be used to hurt other people, both on a historical level and a personal one. Religion is human based and as long as humans are involved it will be an imperfect thing. I think it is possible to have a deep and meaningful relationship with God without being aligned with a religion. I'm definitely not condemning religion, because I know many, many people find exactly what they need with their religion and their church. It's just not for me right now. I'll continue to pursue my personal relationship with my God and will find what I need that way.
Hopefully this wasn't too long or rambling, but I didn't think I could explain my views well without giving some background. And for my closing, if you've never been on a nearly empty beach in the morning, I recommend it. For me, it is the pinnacle of the beauty of God in our world. :)
So...religion...have I mentioned that religion is one of those topics that I rarely talk about with people that I don't know well? If you think about it, it probably won't surprise most of you as we probably haven't talked about religion. I think the number of people I discuss religion with can be counted on one hand. There is a reason for this. I have a real tendency to avoid discussing highly charged topics because there doesn't seem to be any point. I know what I think and you, most likely, know what you think. Nothing you say will change my opinion and it is unlikely that anything I say will change your opinion. Not to mention that my intention is not to change your opinion.
I was raised with church as a part of my life, though we were never really active in our church. We have almost always attended a Methodist church, which is interesting because my father was raised Mennonite, but we never really went to that church. My brother and I went to Sunday school until we were in junior high school and the family went to church most Sundays, though it was less when Mom was working every other Sunday. We always went to church for religious holidays and frequently went with my grandparents when we were younger. In junior high and part of high school, I was active with my church youth group and participated in youth choir. As I got further into high school, I stopped being as active because I didn't really have anything in common with the other members of the youth group and didn't really feel like I fit in.
I went to college at Southwestern College, which is a Methodist school. We had chapel services on during the week, which I didn't usually attend and forget about getting up early on a Sunday morning to go to church. My sophomore year, I started dating someone who was more interested in religion than I had been, so I started going to chapel more and occasionally attended church on Sundays. My junior year, there was a college age bible study group that was a lot of fun. A lot of my friends were involved and we always had snacks and good discussion. My senior year we continued with the bible study, but it wasn't quite as much fun.
After college, my mom used to bribe my brother and I to go to church with them. If we went to church, they would feed us at home or take us out to eat afterwards. I'm not sure that either of us was truly moved by the spirit as much as by hunger. It was a good time as a family and I never hated going.
When I moved to Connecticut, I did a half hearted search for a church, but didn't find anything that inspired me as much as either sleeping in or going to the beach on a Sunday morning. It was truly powerful to see the beauty God created on a nearly empty beach with very little to distract me. If I'm truly honest, I didn't look too hard and might have found a church if I had been dedicated.
When I moved back to Kansas, I was lucky enough to get involved with an alternative church service at the church I had attended as a child. The service was put together by a group of church members with the pastor, who was the same pastor who lead the bible study we did as juniors that was so much fun and such great fellowship. He was also the pastor who baptized me. We had such a great service with so many people getting involved. It was the most connected I had ever felt to church. We had a small but loyal congregation. The service went on for several years and I continued to love it! Through a series of unfortunate events, the church decided to eliminate the service in the most painful and uncomfortable way possible. The new pastor we had was extremely unfeeling and uncaring and consequently, I ended up leaving the church and haven't found another church since. I haven't been looking because I was hurt so badly by what happened with "my" church.
Now, none of this really tells my views on religion, but gives you some background into me and my experiences. So here go my views: I think religion can be a powerful thing in which many people can find support, comfort, strength, and love. However, it can be used to hurt other people, both on a historical level and a personal one. Religion is human based and as long as humans are involved it will be an imperfect thing. I think it is possible to have a deep and meaningful relationship with God without being aligned with a religion. I'm definitely not condemning religion, because I know many, many people find exactly what they need with their religion and their church. It's just not for me right now. I'll continue to pursue my personal relationship with my God and will find what I need that way.
Hopefully this wasn't too long or rambling, but I didn't think I could explain my views well without giving some background. And for my closing, if you've never been on a nearly empty beach in the morning, I recommend it. For me, it is the pinnacle of the beauty of God in our world. :)
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